August 27 2015 (I meant to write this yesterday)

On the day of August 27th 2015, I got hit by a car. I had gotten to work early and decided to go to Chick-fil-a which is across the street. A car didn’t look while making a turn and ran my ass over. I don’t remember any of it. All I remember is being in the middle of the street, my shoes were off and my purse contents all over the street. There was about six people hovered around me asking me if I was okay. I just asked if I could have my phone so I can call my mom and dad. My dad didn’t pick up but my mom said she would be right there. I was greatful because my direct manager who was happen to be taking her kids to school that morning happen to see the aftermath and was there by my side.

The cops and ambulance kept asking me questions I couldn’t answer and I honestly was getting irritated. How many times do I have to say I don’t remember any of it? Next thing you know I’m on a stretcher and my mom sees me being carried into an ambulance. She was belligerent. EMTs closed the ambulance doors still asking me questions I can’t answer. I remember crying not because I was in pain but because how much of an inconvenience this was going to be.

Right before any of this shenanigans happened I was speaking to a coworker on how I wanted to save up and move to New York for a little while. Maybe that was a sign telling me not to? What a hell of a sign!

I get to the hospital and they just leave me in the bed with blood gushing down my face for quite awhile. I asked a nurse if someone could clean the blood. I had to pee in a cup to see if I was pregnant but they made me do the MRI before they even figured out the results. Yikes! In all honesty I wasn’t really having sex at the time but still. After the MRI showed I didn’t have any brain damage he just squeezed my legs and said does it hurt? I said no. He then said you are free to go. The level of professionalism in that hospital was unbelievable. All my family that lives in Southern California was at the hospital. Even my grandpa that lives in LA that I hadn’t spoken to in years. Everyone was there except my dad.

The irony is after I was released my family and I went to Chick-fil-a. I didn’t know how to feel so I was very lighthearted about the whole situation. So lighthearted about it I even took a snapchat of me in the ambulance with the caption of lol.

I came home and my dad was there and that was the beginning of the end (not really but it made things a hundred times worse between my parents). My parents started arguing and I just decided to take a shower trying to take out the clumps of dried up blood out of my hair. My dad was gone by the time I was out.

I didn’t know how to feel about it for a long time. I just kinda avoided the question even though I couldn’t walk correctly for a month and was going to doctor appointments and physical therapy three times a week. It was kinda hard to avoid.

One day I just lost my shit. One of my mangers pissed me off so much I told him I quit. Later that day I told my mom about an broke down. After that my work told me I just needed time off (I went back to work after that incident like I said trying to avoid the situation) so I took two weeks off and started seeing a therapist.

I wish I could tell you my therapist’s name but she told me her name once and I didn’t hear her and I was too embarrassed to ask her to repeat herself. She changed my life though. Having a near death experience made me feel like a failure, like I hadn’t accomplished anything. I would of died not having done anything I wanted to do. She made me see things in a different light.

I did accomplish things and I just needed to stop being so hard on myself. I still hard on myself but I use this experience to push me to do different things. I always wanted to travel but I was scared. When I was with my ex I would always suggest to take a trip but he never wanted to. I didn’t want to do it alone but I learned being alone is okay. So the march of the following year I bought a ticket to Nashville and went by myself. It was one of the greatest experiences I’ve had. I took several trips after that by myself.

The point of this post is never take your life for granted. The world is a scary place but you got to live your life for you. You got to take chances because you really don’t know when you are going to die. It’s morbid but the only thing that’s guaranteed in this life is death and taxes. Live your life to the fullest with no regrets.






Author: hmalcorn

Hannah Marie. 25. Southern California.

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