This isn’t a love story, but it could of been.

Every store I have been in the past week has been playing “Kiss me” by Sixpence None The Richer, and I hate that it always reminds me of you. I was fresh out of high school without a clue just trying to make ends meet in San Francisco California. Timid and inexperience in life and love. I remember being in Joe’s Crab Shack on a slow night by myself guarding the host stand singing along. You smiled and sang along too.

The first time I saw you was for my interview and I never could explain how you made me feel. A rush of serotonin (even though in the end you cause more anxiety then relieved) My friend would make fun of me and say “Why do you even like him? He’s okay looking, has chapped lips and bad acne.” I just felt like we were lovers long before this century reunited by fate but I barely knew you. I am logical and none of this was making any sense but I couldn’t deny the overwhelming feeling. I stayed away for my own good and my boyfriend’s own good (The real plot twist) until I couldn’t.

My relationship with my boyfriend at the time ended long before the final good-bye. It was late on Halloween and I met my boyfriend at the embarcadero station. He looked me straight in the face and said “You are the reason I’m failing.” It was over at that point but we continued to dragged it out until it both tore us apart.

I got really drunk at a coworkers party. I never had drank that much, I even threw up some Coors light in her backyard. I did my best to stay away from you, I really did. I had a boyfriend. You had a girlfriend. Both of those relationships were over but we still continued to persist. You cornered me and asked why we didn’t hang out and I replied because I like you and if things weren’t fucked already, our coworker’s roommate chased everyone out with a kitchen knife.

We just wanted to be pirates lost at sea and if times would of been simpler I could of seen it happening. You always complained that I wanted someone who was perfect. You were right. I wanted the perfect story, the perfect relationship. A fairy tale that didn’t exist but you always found a way to make me feel like I didn’t even matter.

Years have past, things have changed. The most interaction we have is watching each other’s Instagram stories and liking posts here and there. You are forever the person who I felt had me under a spell that I thought I would never snap out of, almost felt like I loved you.

Author: hmalcorn

Hannah Marie. 25. Southern California.

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