Monday Morning

Hello my friends! I’m feeling very anxious this morning. It’s my first day of my job and right now I’m waiting in a coffee shop just waiting for it to turn one o’clock so I can just get it over with. I don’t know why I feel so nervous to start this new job. I think it’s because I always find it hard to fit in and also find it hard to adjust to new things but it should be okay. For the past few hours I’ve been writing in my journal and reading a book about The French Revolution. It made me feel slightly better because when I woke up this morning I was going to throw up from my nerves. I hate that I get like this and it happens all too often.

I also got an uneasy call from my academic advisor this morning. He basically told me that I need my own laptop to do the program. I was just planning to get my work done at the library until I could get approve for a loan or until I could save up for a laptop. It’s just not an option. I’m feeling a little worried about it but I just hope I can push out the semester to fall. If not I guess I’ll just reapply. Why is life so fucking hard to figure out?

Anyway yesterday was a really nice day out with my brother and a few friends. I honestly planned yesterday to be boring and at home but we did a lot.

We first went to a restaurant called Chef’s Grille. Honestly it was too expensive for what it was. I feel like a lot of restaurants in Murrieta and Temecula are. There is a lot of these restaurants with nice interiors popping up but they just don’t taste great and it’s twenty a plate. That being said it was just okay.

What was nice was I got a lot off my chest. It’s been awhile since I felt like I had a friend other than my mom and Jaime. I know it’s my fault but I just don’t feel like talking to anyone else lately.

After lunch we decided to go to the mall because my brother wanted to buy different frames. We ended up taking a wrong turn and ended up at Mr. Chi again. Apparently they change their glass cups about everyday.

I ended up getting a watermelon soda. It was good but I wish I just got a milk tea instead.

When we got to the mall, my brother decided he would wait to get frames later. We walked around for a little bit. I ended up seeing an old friend at the mall. It had been so long and I’ve missed him. He’s the reason Jaime and I are together honestly. I told him we have to hang out soon. Hopefully I can keep my promise.

After going to the mall we started to walk around. There’s a lot of things to see and do around the mall. We went to Plato’s closet. It’s a thrift store but I guess with standards. My brother got two pairs of shoes. They are really nice I wish I took a picture of them. We also went to a pet store for the hell of it and there was a bird at the front door that could talk. Like it literally says bye as you leave the store. Birds freak me out though.

One time I went to a birthday party in six grade. My friend had a bird and the first things she said is don’t put your finger in the cage. The first thing my dumb ass did was put my finger in the cage. The bird took a pretty good chunk out of my finger and I’ve been traumatized ever since.

Anyway we also went to go throw axes. Well I didn’t and neither did Anna. (I know I didn’t mention names before, oh well!) I felt like I was in Final Destination just waiting for my impeding death. My brother and Joaquin had fun though

After the axe throwing we went home. It was a nice way to close my brother being here. I mean he’s still here but I’m going to be gone for most of the day. I’m really going to miss my brother but I don’t want to think about that right now. I have a hundred other things to worry about and he’ll be fine. It may be awhile till I’ll see him again but I’ll be fine. I have to be.

Author: hmalcorn

Hannah Marie. 25. Southern California.

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