Life has been full of ups and downs. Mostly downs if I want to be real.
The past few days have kept me busy. On Sunday I went to the Millennium tour with my cousins.
(Only one cousin pictured)
It was cool. Yin Yang twins were the best performers but I’m so glad I got to finally see Lloyd live. Lloyd is probably my favorite r&b musician unless Partynextdoor counts.
Although I feel I overshared with my cousins. My family likes to talk and usually not in a positive light. It’s whatever. I’m really honestly fucking over it. People talk shit when you are doing good and when you are doing bad. What’s a girl to do? I’m a little concerned about one of my cousins. I knew she was going through it but she made it evident that day that she wasn’t okay.
On Monday, Jaime and I rented a yurt in Carlsbad.
It was really nice but I did for sure ended up drinking too much. I hate the person I become when I drink too much sometimes.
The best part was being by the beach. I don’t know but I always feel the most at ease when I’m at the beach. It’s the only thing that can convince me that everything is going to be okay.
I’m sorry guys. I feel like I’m being very vague and not very interesting. I just want to stay dedicated to writing because I need something to keep me sane because I feel like I’m losing my shit.
Day 29- A confession
I’m a pretty open book on here. I tend to over share everywhere. I don’t have much to hide.
I guess my confession is I do want to be famous. I’m narcissistic. I love fucking attention to a certain extent. I want to be interviewed. I want people to read books about me. It’s weird but honestly that’s a thing about me that I don’t really talk about.
Day 28- Most embarrassing moment
I have a lot to be honest. I think my most embarrassing moment is in middle school.
I had a huge crush on this guy. It was like an obsession to be honest. The only thing was he had a girlfriend. That didn’t stop me though. I wrote him a love letter and had my friends give it to him. The next day his girlfriend told me my letter was cute. I still haven’t recovered.
Day 27- What’s in your closet?
I just want people to know this is really hard to showcase because I’m kinda of a shopaholic. I also dress very eccentric. I do have my off days where I dress plain but I did get a small picture of my closet where you can see a bunch of different textures and colors. (my iPhone camera is so messed up is not even funny anymore)
Day 26: Your Hidden Talent
I just want to start off by saying sorry I haven’t been writing much. I have been very anxious and depressed lately. Shit just sucks lately. I’m starting to get out of my rut though.
I think I’ve been avoiding this post too because I don’t feel like I have a hidden talent. I hide the things I like to do which is write and draw so I’ll just say that. Writing and drawing is my hidden talent but I’m not great at either one of them.
Day 25- Your Biggest Regret
I think we all have things in life we wished we did differently. I honestly can say I probably don’t have any regrets. I like the person I am now and if I didn’t fuck up a couple times I wouldn’t be who I am.
So I’m sticking to it. No Regrets!
Day 24: What Attracts You (In Love)
I have only been legitimately in love twice in my life. I don’t fall in love easily because I don’t take most men seriously. I loved these two people for different reasons so I’ll explain each one.
My first love: I fell in love because he was a huge romantic. My relationship was a lot of grand gestures. One of the biggest ones he did was set up a whole scavenger hunt around San Francisco and all the places had a meaning. It was really sweet considering we were broken up at the time. I liked how smart he was. It’s been awhile but that’s all I can think of why I loved him. Maybe that’s why we didn’t last. I do want to get this out of the way, whoever said your first love is your best love was full of shit or lucky. I learned a lot about myself and what I wanted though.
My second love (my husband): My husband isn’t super romantic, the biggest grand gesture was proposing to me on top of the Rockefeller’s center. I love how affectionate he is. Always kisses me when we see each other after a long time away from each other and always kisses me goodbye. He always holds my hand. He always sit on my side of the booth at restaurants. He’s my very best friend. I can tell him anything. There’s nothing that comes to my mind that I can’t tell him. I have never felt that with anyone. I love his laugh. I love his touch. I guess it best to say I just love him, flaws and all.