Wednesday Morning

Hello my friends!

I’ve been working the past few days and even though it’s not long hours, I’ve been tired. (Also a little lazy)

Work is cool so far but I haven’t really actually done my job. The past few days have been mostly tedious things like learning the mission statement, product knowledge, company’s history, and just a lot of corporate bullshit that’s honestly pointless.

Saturday is my first day working alone and I’m kinda nervous. Selling clothes honestly seems so awkward to me and the extent they want me to do it is honestly too much. I work for a higher end retailer but it’s not like it’s Gucci or Balenciaga. They expect you to get clients but honestly it’s Forever 21 clothes but marked way up. I feel like I’m being harsh but it’s kinda true.

They also kinda have a oddly specific dress code. If you aren’t wearing the brand you have to wear all black, white or dark grey business casual. You can’t wear heavy makeup and your nails have to be polished and never chipped.

Anyway my favorite part so far is getting to try on clothes for the hell of it. It makes sense so you can get an idea of styling and sizing.

Anyway it’s hard to tell how well this job is going to work out because it’s the beginning but I am nervous about it but hell I’m nervous about everything.

To be fair on why I didn’t write one whole day is because I did spend the day yesterday with Jaime. (I really should just schedule post but my blog is mostly a diary of thoughts so it’s kinda hard if the day hasn’t happened yet)

After work yesterday we went to get a few beers, got In N Out and went shopping at Kohl’s because I needed a few outfits for work. It was a nice day with him yesterday considering we got in a fight the day before because he came home late drinking with friends and it was my first day of work and also my brothers last day before MCT.

My brother is gone. I was a little sad I didn’t get to be there to drop him off but at least he gets his phone for the weekends and he will have liberty the last two weeks. It’s not like boot camp where I had to wait for a letter in the mail to hear from him.

Today all I’m going to do is just chill, write in my physical journal, read my book on the French Revolution (which is only about murder) and wait for Jaime to get home so I can watch the new Black Mirror.

Till next time my friends.

Thursday Morning and some Met Gala commentary.

Hello friends. I actually had some productive days since I last wrote. On Tuesday it was Jaime’s day off so we went to Souplantation because one of his customer gave him coupons for free meals. It was nice. We also went to one of our favorite breweries and drank too much. I had made plans to go out with my friend later that day.

I met up with my friend in Old Town Temecula. We had a few margaritas at a faux Mexican restaurant, a tiki bowl, and we ended up going to the brewery again because Jaime left his card. So it was safe to say I was very drunk. I had a good time though. It’s been a long time since I hung out with her alone and I missed her.

After she dropped me back home though, things went south. Jaime and I got in a fight and it was obviously heighten by the alcohol in both our systems. It doesn’t change the fact that I’m still upset about the situation but I love him and I really do want to work through are problems. I just hate how sometimes I’m the only one who tries to actively communicate when an issue arises. He just shuts down. It’s frustrating but we are still trucking through.

Yesterday I was a bit hung over. Not as bad as usual but still uncomfortable. I stayed in bed for a good amount of the morning. I watched a lot of YouTube videos. I have been into beauty and shopping haul videos lately. I also have been dressing up lately. I can make a correlation though. Usually when I feel like shit about my life I tend to dress up and be very into keeping up my appearance. I think it goes back to the philosophy, if you look good you feel good.

Anyway I ended up going shopping with my mom. My mom is a shopaholic but one who knows to go shopping on a budget.

I ended up getting this dress from Free People for ten dollars! (I feel like I have been doing a lot of retail therapy which isn’t necessary good because consumerism doesn’t fix anything but it will have do for now.)

Anyway a little side note is I have always been into fashion and also a shopaholic for some time now but with recent times my politics have changed drastically and with that so did my shopping habits. But to simplify Marxism, forced to work and born to shop amirite?

The Met Gala was a few days and it is one of my favorite bourgeoisie event to follow. This year’s theme was camp and the best way to describe camp in a very watered down version is drag, like the documentary Paris is Burning drag. Anyway here are a few of my favorite looks from that night.

This isn’t camp like at all but the dress is a work of art. I’m not a Kardashian fan but you can’t deny their influence and this dress is just wow. I have to say though, Kim has a certain aesthetic that never changes and it’s getting a bit boring but I still love this dress.

Cardi B has the best stylists out there hands down. It’s not my favorite look of hers or the night but top five of the night.

I would probably say Zendaya was my favorite look of the night. I love the whole show behind her look. Although I must point out that Zac Posen did it first with Claire Danes at the Met Gala in 2016. The execution was different though and it made all the difference.

Billy Porter killed it. This is fucking camp.

Emily Ratajkowski’s body is fucking sickening and I love an obvious Cher inspired look.

There were so many looks from that night that I loved but I don’t want to flood the post. I was a bit disappointed because a lot of people weren’t truly doing camp. The only fun thing about the Met Gala is the theme. I mean maybe the event itself is fun but I’ll probably never be rich enough or famous enough to be invited. Until next time my friends.

Sunday Shopping and a little bit of racial profiling

Yesterday was really nice. After writing my post yesterday I felt very anxious. Honestly I really feel like a fucking loser back at square one. It’s not a good feeling. I know it takes time but fuck can I have my shit together already? I started to paint my house but it didn’t make me feel any better. I claim to be a home body but I hate being in the house all day. I feel like I’m losing my fucking mind. My mom invited me to go to Chino Hills for some shopping.

Everything was nice for the most part except for a small mishap at Marshall’s.

I don’t know how to say this but I pretty much experience racial aggressions everyday of my life. I usually ignore them because it’s not worth my time and honestly you just get use to it but yesterday I wasn’t in the mood.

I went into the dressing room to try on one item. The first odd thing is the dressing room attendant took the dress out of my hand examined the dress and told me it was cute and handed me a number. I didn’t see that as necessary but okay. I try it on and take some photos for the blog and get out of the dressing room. The lady was helping another person when I got out and told me I had to wait because she had to check me out. I didn’t understand I had one item that I clearly still had in my hand. I told her she was tripping and then I left. She followed me for a little bit too but I guess gave up. There was no need to check me out especially since you already scoped what I had and I had one item.

I’m always for the worker. I know how shitty these jobs can be but if you take the time out of your day to be disrespectful best believe it’s not going to be pretty.

It got worse when I told my mom about it and my mom don’t play. I bet the whole store heard her yell at this lady for racial profiling me.

Anyway I got a lot of cute things yesterday and for the most part the day was great. I’m glad as the days go on I’m getting closer and closer to my mom. I hate that it took losing a pregnancy to realize how much my mom truly is a ride or die. I hate that I didn’t appreciate my mom as much as before but I’m trying to make up for lost time. Until next time my friends but here are some photos of the things I got yesterday.