Another Update

I haven’t been posting mostly because I was trying to do blogging off Instagram. Maybe I’m weak but I truly don’t understand how people do it. With this blog I never felt the stress of validation like I do with Instagram. I also don’t know why I want fame so much. It’s not important. It’s so fucking unnecessary. I don’t want to be rich. I don’t want to be a slave of validation.

I will start writing on here more. It’s stress free and I feel like I can post and say whatever I want. I will censor myself though because I was wildin before. Some things are meant behind closed doors and that’s fine. I will say though I making this more of a writing blog, a place where I can put the poems and short stories I write with a little personal things here and there.

Some personal updates is I moved to Hemet California and I actually love the city. I’m having a hard time adjusting with some circumstances but I’ll be okay. I still don’t have a job but surprisingly I haven’t been driven crazy by boredom. It’s been hard to find a job even shitty jobs but I’ll be okay for awhile. I’m just glad I have more time to do the things I love, make art.

Phoenix Arizona

  • I went to Phoenix Arizona this weekend and I never thought I would love it so much. I did have a friend over a year ago tell me that it was a booming city. It’s so cute but so hot. Jaime and I decided it’s our new vacation spot. (Arizona in general)
  • I think I just like the desert aesthetic. I love Vegas, Arizona, Joshua Tree and Palm Springs.
  • I think I only really like these cities because the cost of living is cheap and there seems to be more of a community feeling and also A LOT of art. (Although were we live definitely has a good community, it’s expensive, racist and not a whole lot of art action out here)
  • We stayed in the cutest tiny home in Phoenix and I think it almost convince Jaime to jump on that tiny home train.
  • I somehow manage to maintain my sanity and composure with Jaime‚Äôs family. They are still upset about the elopement and I’m still upset too. Jaime made me feel a little better when he said he was kinda mad too.
  • I need another job desperately. I don’t want to go to school unless that’s all I have to do. Yes, it’s inspiring when you hear those stories of people who go to work full time and go to school full time and even have kids and still manage to get their degree but that’s not a life I want to live. My job pays the bills and I still have money to play around with. Not as much as I like but my life is great. It really is. I just hate the management and company morale of my job.
  • I say this all the time but I want to focus more on doing art and such but seriously. It’s been a long time since I focused on myself. Yes I just got married but at the end of the day we are still two separate people and I need to keep doing things I love.
  • I need to stop smoking weed because it’s starting to become a problem (with finding a job) I don’t know a better way to control my anxiety and anger though.
  • Being married is weird. Everything still feels the same just more sex and I have a different last name.
  • I really wish I could start my own business but I honestly don’t know where to start. I am really tired of working for other people. I need to do some research.
  • I JUST NEED TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
  • Follow me on Instagram: be_your_own_3am