It’s been awhile. I’m not going to lie, I’ve been a little lazy. I feel like honestly I’ve been adjusting with a new job, figuring out school and etc. I still have a lot of time but I’m also a lazy individual.
Work is cool I guess. I just get stressed because I haven’t been making sales goals. It’s fucking hard selling clothes and I just feel awkward doing it. Also every time I work it’s super dead. I always wonder why they even need me there. It’s cool I guess, just lonely at times but I honestly don’t mind.
(I feel like I try on clothes to pass the time)
Other than that life seems to be bleak, very regular. I don’t mind it. I always said I enjoyed chaos but I’m starting to believe it’s not true. It feels good sometimes to just coast by sometimes especially when I feel like life hasn’t been too fair lately.
I guess two interesting things that come across my mind a lot is that an old really good friend got recently engaged and two Jaime’s sister reached out.
I’m super excited for my friend. I’ve know him since elementary school and he’s been there for the most part. Our friendship is weird or shall I say was because he just kinda cut me out. We were talking a lot and all of sudden we stopped talking so much. I think it’s because his now fiancé doesn’t like me. He implied it through something he said the last time I saw him. I told him congrats and still nothing. He did this with the last girlfriend he had. I don’t know if I should even bother anymore but I was thinking about him even before I saw the engagement pictures. I’ve been watching a lot of corny YouTube videos that make strangers call an estranged friend and tell them they miss them, weird shit like that, and I realized I really missed my friend but people come and go in your life and I think it’s time to move on.
This morning Jaime sent me a screenshot of a text from his sister saying she has mail for us and that she wanted to grab drinks also that she loves us both. I have been suppressing my feelings about Jaime’s family for awhile now and when I saw that it started coming all back to me. I think if given some more time I could get over it but right now I’m not ready. I’ve been really hurt by her and by his family in general. I’m still so resentful but it just doesn’t hurt as bad anymore and I’m easier at hiding my feelings now.
Just random tidbits is it’s been three years since Jaime and I’ve been together and it’s wild. Anniversaries really make me think about where the time goes. It still feels like yesterday when he kissed me outside of Franklin’s Cove.
It’s Father’s Day and all I have to say is I miss my dad and wish I got to see him more.
That’s all for today my friends! I should be writing more frequently. I finally got a fucking laptop. My cousin gave me her daughters and I’m so fucking grateful. My family drives me insane but they always be ridin for me. Till next time.