Random Thoughts on a Sunday Afternoon

  • I have deleted my Instagram mostly because I can’t stand my in laws looking at my shit. I don’t miss it though. I have my blog and twitter and I know strangers read my blog or my twitter but somehow I feel more comfort in that than people I know.
  • I’ve been watching this youtube Vice documentary on gangs in El Salvador and I think it’s weird when a person gets murdered and these journalist want to interview their family right after it happens. I think for the most part it’s exploitive than anything else.
  • Lately I have felt beautiful and sexy in my skin. It’s weird and I don’t know where this confidence has come from but I hope it doesn’t go away.
  • I feel better. I haven’t smoked weed or eaten edibles in three days and I haven’t felt like I needed it. I guess this is improvement my friends.
  • I still haven’t heard anything from ASU and I’m starting to feel anxious I might just go to community college for now. I was thinking of cosmetology school because I like the idea of just doing a program, you don’t have to pick out classes or what not, and start a career. I feel like college was really a unguided, unnecessary hard, experience for me. With that being said I’m not a huge fan of the beauty community though.
  • I have been looking into cults lately because I read this crazy article about this cult at Sarah Lawerence college. I can’t help but think about this girl I use to talk to at Panera Bread. One day I confided in her that I didn’t know what I was doing in my life and she said that she has a mentor that could help me get out of debt and retire by thirty. I told her no thanks but it makes me wonder if she was just part of a pyramid scheme or part of a cult or maybe both.
  • Jaime and I are really good right now. I hate that whenever there seems to be some tension or a problem, I feel like the relationship is coming to an end. I think I have abandonment issues.
  • I have been really trying to work through my rage lately. I don’t know how I will resolve the grudges that I’m holding on to. I just hope that I do because I realize it’s not good for me to have so much rage in me. It honestly makes me sick.
  • I forgot to mention that I was part of a wedding a few weeks ago. I’m happy for my friend and I glad she is happy. With that being said, I will never be part of anyone’s wedding again. I wanted to share a few photos.